This brilliant satire was sent to us by disillusioned Spittoon insider:
Faisal Gazi: new head of al Qaida?
Now that it’s head Osama Bin Laden has thankfully been dispatched, Al Qaida is looking for a new leader. It could do worse than Spittoon head Faisal Gazi for the following reasons:
1) Reaction to Bin Laden’s death: While the world, both Muslim and non-muslim welcomed Bin Laden’s demise, Spittoon responded with….. this truly sick post showing a mock up of President Barack Obama’s death.
2) Extreme anti-Americanism: Like al Qaida, Faisal Gazi is doctrinally extremely anti-American. Even when the US did good, as in its intervention in Kosovo Al Qaida condemned it. Likewise Faisal Gazi in this anti-American screed which is worthy of Al Qaida at its most extreme:
‘It is interesting to note how you have structured your argument. Please
allow me to paraphrase.
You have stated that:
1) Muslim’s and Christian’s frenzied jingoism has let to mindless
violence in the name of Jehad and Crusades respectively.
2) As time went on these concepts were taken as heritage by Christians
3) The very basics of these 2 religions (Christianity and Islam) were
the elimination of all other religion either by force or by conversion.
4) Both Christians and Muslims are at a disadvantage compared to Hindus
because their sacred scripts are a manual for day to day living, whereas
those of the Hindus’ are not.
And then you close off and conclude that is why “almost all the muslim
states in the world have such violent status today”
Any objective and non-confrontational reading of this would suggest that
you are willing to see the abuses of Christianity and Islam, but are
only prepared to blame one of them – and that is Islam. This gives your
game away and proves that you simply have an (hidden) agenda and an axe
For example you forgotten to include in your sweeping surmise that the
USA (a Christian Democracy) has been involved in 42 wars and conflicts
in the last 40 years. This is a record of violence unbeaten by any
country, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist or whatever takes your
It may be that you do not wish to include the USA in your statistics
because you are not willing to bite the hand that feeds. I can only
congratulate you then on your caution.
3) What’s in a name? Faisal Gazi’s name alone is sufficent evidence for his commitment to extreme Islamism.
His first name is Faisal- that is, he is named after King Faisal the late King of Saudi Arabia- the centre of extremist Wahabbism which it has spread all over the globe. Even more damningly 15 OF THE 19 HIJACKERS ON 9/11 WERE FROM SAUDI
It gets worse. Much worse. Gazi, his surname, basically means ‘Muslim warrior who slays infidels’ (thanks to MEMRY for the translation )
4)The doctrine of taqiyya. As Front Page magazine , which Spittoon frequently quotes from explains taqiyya is a Muslim hiding his faith for some nefarious purpose. This is a signature of al Qaida – they dont attend mosques, shave and wear western clothes- in other words do everything they can to fit in and not stand out as Muslims.
Likewise with Mr Holy Warror, sorry Gazi, who appears to lead a very secular lifestyle: not praying, going to pubs drinking alchohol, shaving, mocking religion etc
5) Ignorance of scripture: Traditional Orthodox Islam holds that only those men and women who have studied for years under qualified scholars and mastered numerous disciplines can exercise ijtihad or interpretation of religious texts. However both al Qaida (which was led by engineers and doctors) and Spittoon believe that any person can interpret the Holy book themselves no matter how ill educated. Witness Spittoon’s truly feeble attempts at tafsir
6) Social outcasts: the members of al Qaida are social outcasts rejected by their own Muslim communities- hence there need to move thousands of miles away from their Arab homelands and live in caves in remote places in Pakistan. They are rejected by the vast majority of Muslims, whilst claiming to speak for them.
Likewise Faisal Gazi -someone whose deviant heretical views are rejected by the vast majority of Muslims yet who claims to speak for them!
Even within the British Bangladeshi community Gazi is an oddball. In a community that is overwhelmingly of Sylheti origin and religious, he is from Dhaka and is irreligious.
7) The Sudanese connection: As we know between 1992 and 1996 Osama Bin Laden lived in Sudan Shockingly Spittoon’s Abu Faris also CHOOSES to live in Sudan (one of the few states goverened by Sharia on the planet) and has a Sudanese wife!
8 ) Defense of Usama Hasan. As we know Spittoon has defended this Islamist, who post 9-11 authored the notorious article Recapturing Islam from the Pacifists, which attacked Muslim scholars who condemned those atrocities!
9) Targetting other Muslims- ‘Muslims have been the greatest numerical casualties of al Qaeda and bin Laden. The Combating Terrorism Center at West Point released a stunning report that said Muslims have accounted for the vast majority of the total number of casualties from al Qaeda attacks between 2004 and 2008 throughout the world.‘http://www.crescentpost.com/2011/05/cnn-column-for-muslims-a-reason-to-rejoice/
Likewise Spittoon only targets and attacks Muslims in its posts or caption competitions
10) Celebrate downfall of the secular Mubarak- many members of Al Qaida are Egyptians strongly opposed to the regime of Hosni Mubarak.a regime Spittoon also criticised and called for the removal of!
Cairo State of Mind
11) Clash of Civilizations- Extremists amongst Muslims and non-Muslims hold their is a ‘Clash of Civilizations’ between Islam and the West and those two entities can never find common ground or work together. They emphasise only the differences between Muslims and non-Muslims and Islam and other faiths rather than pointing to the many many similiarities.
Similiarly with Spittoon and Faisal Gazi. They emphasise only differences and conflicts between Muslims and non-Muslims not the many many examples
of defending each other and cooperation and peaceful co existence
As we know Spittoon has praised Douglas Murray’s (boss of Houriya Ahmed at CSC) extremist hate-filled words ‘ Conditions for Muslims in Europe must be made harder across the board’:( a philosophy Al Qaida also holds to)
Posted September 29, 2009 at 7:56 PM | Permalink
Where a mosque has become a centre of hate it should be closed and pulled down. If that means that some Muslims don’t have a mosque to go to, then they’ll just have to realise that they aren’t owed one.
I’ll go along with that – and I would also suggest that if any place of worship / meeting hall had become such a centre of hate it might be reasonable that it met the same fate.
Yes, I completely agree with that.
12) Attacks on Israel- Like AQ Spittoon hate Israel – just look at this article Israel lost at Sea
Also the sites continued attacks on Iran, the world centre of Shiism:
The Tragedy of Iran
An Iranian Education
Or it’s attack on Mohammed Mossadeq a man admired even by secular Iranian Shias!
Mohammad Mosaddeq: Some Myths Dispelled
Hatred of Shias
14) Belief in conspiracy theories- As with Al Qaida, Spittoon believe in wild conspiracy theories.
They quote from magazines such as the Brussels Journal, which promotes the far right modern protocols idea of ‘Eurabia‘ -a secret Muslim plot to take over Europe. They also publish extremist articles on mythical Jewish power .
15) Misogyny – Al Qaida believe women should be shut up, kept behind doors and never allowed to speak. How similiar to Spittoon’s deeply misogynistic views-its articles are only ever written by men. They have only ONE female employee Houriya Ahmed who is rarely, if ever, allow to write for them!
They employ a misogynist Jewish extremist bananabrain who every morning recites the following misogynist, racist prayer
‘Thank you G-d for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a slave.’
Faisal Gazi new head of Al Qaida? We are, of course, just kidding.
However we are sure Mr Gazi would strongly approve of this ‘heretical’ post with his publically stated belief that’ ‘Heresy is another word for freedom of thought’
and his publically declared statement ‘Free Speech will
dominate the world’ All May speak their minds.’